![[ The old man is back, werd! ]](/pete/images/corner/guru.gif)
![[ MENU ]](/pete/images/menu.gif){kind=small}
| " Return Home " | |
| " About Me | Comics " |
| " Contact | Conversations " |
| " Encyclo-pete-ia | Friends " |
| " Fun Stuff | Journal " |
| " Laugh, damnit! | Links " |
| " Quotes | Soap Box " |
| " Testimonials | The Webcam " |
| " What's New | Where's Pete? " |
|
Random Quote:
"Loyalty isn't standing by someone when he's right... that's good judgement. Loyalty is standing by someone when he's wrong."~Susan Estrich
Destinations
Rate Me on BlogHop      ?
**Assholes**
 |
![[ Humor ]](images/sub-humor.gif){kind=small} |
| Now... I've had some people complain that they didn't think some of the following material was appropriate. Well, I guess everyone is entitled to an opinion... and nobody is required to watch cable TV. Nevertheless, let me make a disclaimer: the posting of articles on this page in no way constitutes my own endorsement of the ideas in them. It merely means that I think they're funny... and damnit, if you can't laugh every once in a while THIS page is the least of your problems! |
| Classic | |||
| Article Name | Description | Date Added | Accesses |
| Alien Letter to Earth | You know you want to read it... | 11/27/00 | 129 |
| Auto Accident Insurance Forms | Actual entries from insurance claim forms. | 11/27/00 | 107 |
| Cats are Dumb | Ever seen a cat run into a wall? Want to? | 12/6/01 | 49 |
| Dark Suckers | You just THINK it's a light bulb. | 11/27/00 | 88 |
| Horror Film Wisdom | 90-something things that every horror flic star should know. | 11/27/00 | 62 |
| Is there a Santa Claus? | Science answers another of life's mysteries. | 11/27/00 | 80 |
| Office One-Liners | When only the most sarcastic of comments will suffice. | 3/8/01 | 127 |
| Parents' Excuses for their sick Kids | And you thought kids were stupid... | 11/27/00 | 98 |
| Performance Reviews | Actual entries from the performance reviews of a major US company. | 3/7/01 | 49 |
| The Devil's Dictionary | Ambrose Bierce, a classic cynic, published these in 1911. | 9/29/01 | 68 |
| Two Statues | Two statues have some fun in the bushes. | 11/27/00 | 64 |
| Why it takes a License to Drive | These answers to driving tests questions may scare you into pedestrainism. | 11/27/00 | 89 |
| General | |||
| Article Name | Description | Date Added | Accesses |
| 1995 Darwin Award Winner | Cars and Solid-Fuel Rockets do NOT mix. | 11/27/00 | 36 |
| AIM Away Messages | A comprehensive (more or less) list of my (PHoliday99's) saved AIM away messages. I'll try to keep it up to date. | 2/11/01 | 242 |
| Bricklayer's Accident Report | This is why skinny people shouldn't be bricklayers. | 9/29/01 | 35 |
| Dave Barry does Windows | Learning to love the computer, warts and all. | 1/7/02 | 25 |
| Dave Barry on Life | 16 Truths that we should all keep in mind. | 3/7/01 | 70 |
| Dr. Seuss: Al Gore I am | A Dr. Seuss style commentary on the presidential election of 2000. | 1/22/01 | 54 |
| Halloween Party | A mildly humorous joke added just in time for Halloween. | 10/17/01 | 35 |
| Hotel Soap Fiasco | Don't bother bringing your own soap to the hotel... it will only cause problems. | 11/27/00 | 47 |
| Kids are too honest | Kids say the darndest things! | 12/6/01 | 34 |
| Learning to Fly | A day-by-day accounting of the first four weeks of flight school. | 9/7/01 | 29 |
| Men and Women on an Island | What happens when groups of two men and a woman from several countries get stranded on a island? | 4/26/01 | 40 |
| Monkeys | Thinking about buying 200 monkeys? Read this first. | 11/27/00 | 40 |
| My First Time | Read a sordid poem about someone's first time. | 11/27/00 | 73 |
| Newt and the Giraffe | An interesting poll conducted about the male propensity for giraffe hunting. | 4/18/01 | 23 |
| Plane Maintenance Humor | Any Pilot Without a Sense of Humour is at the Mercy of the Maintenance Crew | 9/29/01 | 38 |
| Shotgun Rules | Yes... even calling shotgun has rules. | 11/27/00 | 66 |
| Snow | Read some diary entries about the wonderful white stuff. | 11/27/00 | 41 |
| Style Invitational #2 | In some languages, nouns have a gender. See some english nouns that should have a gender and why. | 2/1/02 | 21 |
| The Epic of the Baked Bean | An affinity for baked beans can be a dangerous thing. | 11/27/00 | 31 |
| The New Priest | A seasoned veteran gives a new priest some advice. | 4/18/01 | 29 |
| Three Blondes in Heaven | What happens when three blondes try to get past the pearly gates? | 8/23/01 | 44 |
| Washing Post Style Invitational | Take any word, change a letter, re-write the definition. Funny stuff, enjoy. | 9/14/01 | 52 |
| Who's On First | The famous Abbout and Costello skit. | 11/27/00 | 44 |
| Battle of the Sexes | |||
| Article Name | Description | Date Added | Accesses |
| 101 Things NOT to say During Sex | Do NOT try this at home! (Or anywhere else, for that matter) | 3/8/01 | 86 |
| Dogs vs. Men | A compare and contrast exercies with man and his best friend. | 3/8/01 | 42 |
| I'm Glad I'm A Man! | A poem illustrating the highlights of manhood. | 11/27/00 | 49 |
| I'm Glad I'm a Woman! | And, so as not to seem sexist, the women's side. | 11/27/00 | 56 |
| If Men Ran the World... | ...that is, more than we already do. ;) | 3/7/01 | 51 |
| College | |||
| Article Name | Description | Date Added | Accesses |
| 'Twas the Night before Finals | Cute rewrite of "Twas the Night Before Christmas". | 11/27/00 | 50 |
| Chemistry Final | Lie by yourself or make sure you have your story straight. | 11/27/00 | 42 |
| Dave Barry on College Majors | THE Dave Barry talks about what to major in... and why. | 11/27/00 | 61 |
| Dave Barry on Punctuation | Dave Barry's lesson on Punctuation. | 11/27/00 | 30 |
| Drinker's Troubleshooting Guide | Having problems while drinking? Read this helpful list for the solution. | 11/27/00 | 40 |
| Football Player Entrance Exam | This is how the geniuses on the football team make it into school. | 11/27/00 | 38 |
| Four Fans | A Kentucky, Tenessee, Alabama, and Auburn fan go rock climbing... | 9/5/01 | 27 |
| Habits you can Bring Home | The distinctly collegiate tendencies that won't get you disowned. | 11/27/00 | 55 |
| History: A Compilation | History as told by a compilation of various students from 8th grade to college. | 11/27/00 | 36 |
| How College is like Preschool | Ten ways that college is just like preschool... | 4/26/01 | 54 |
| Ivy-League Lightbulb Jokes | How many Ivy-Leaguers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? | 11/27/00 | 40 |
| MIT Correspondence | MIT finally found a student as arrogant as it is. | 11/27/00 | 38 |
| Required Courses for Undergrads | Mildy funny. | 11/27/00 | 51 |
| Semester Burnout | Telltale signs of semester burnout! | 3/7/01 | 44 |
| Template for a Letter Home | Face it... this form could replace most correspondance home. | 11/27/00 | 33 |
| The Auburn Third Grader | A third grader realizes the joys of being from Auburn. | 9/5/01 | 29 |
| The Physics of Hell | A question about the physical nature of hell. | 3/7/01 | 33 |
| Torture your Roomie for the Holidays | That's right, 25 great ways to torture your roomie as Christmas approaches. | 10/17/01 | 42 |
| Universal Grade Change Form | Deserve a higher grade? Fill out this form and keep your fingers crossed. | 11/27/00 | 49 |
| Why God Never got a PhD. | Commentary on the silly nature of academia. | 1/16/01 | 36 |
| Writing Assignment | Two students attempt a tandem writing assignment... and fail. | 11/27/00 | 27 |
| X-Files Drinking Game | No... really... an X-Files Drinking Game. | 11/27/00 | 42 |
| You Know You've Been in College too Long... | Fairly Funny... feel free to email with additions. | 11/27/00 | 49 |
| You Might Be A College Student... | Small list... email me if you have additions. | 11/27/00 | 57 |
| You might be an Engineer if... | I'm an Engineer... are you? | 1/16/01 | 51 |
| Things to Do | |||
| Article Name | Description | Date Added | Accesses |
| Cat Bathing as a Martial Art | Ever wondered how to clean a cat that won't clean itself? | 3/1/01 | 17 |
| How NOT to Rob a Bank | So you want to rob a bank, huh? Well, here are some helpful hints. | 3/1/01 | 28 |
| How to Argue | Do you have trouble losing arguments? Try this sure-fire approach. | 3/1/01 | 47 |
| Some things to ponder | Bored? Need a topic for a Philosophy paper? Here are some questions that'll get you thinking. | 3/1/01 | 45 |
| Things to do in a Computer Lab | 50 wonderful things to try if you're bored and have a crowded computer lab at your disposal. | 3/1/01 | 51 |
| What to do if you find your roomie having sex | A fairly humorous list of 50 things that you can do if you wake up to find your roommate having sex. | 3/1/01 | 62 |
| Lists | |||
| Article Name | Description | Date Added | Accesses |
| 100 Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate | Trying to get rid of your roommate? Try these easy to use solutions! | 1/16/01 | 72 |
| Florida Slogans | New Florida Slogans... inspired by the recent election goings on. | 11/30/00 | 34 |
| Product Warning Labels | Warning labels from actual products. Proof positive that people are stupid. | 1/21/01 | 43 |
| You know you've had too much of the 90s when.. | A little outdated, but still funny. | 1/21/01 | 50 |
